Are you seeing someone,
I ask.
(We haven’t been together for a while
and I suspect
you might have found
someone new,
although I think
I know you pretty well).
Yes, you reply
avoiding my eyes,
and my heart misses a beat.
It’s not that I am jealous, no.
I just thought
I was
irreplaceable.
Zlatna Kostova
I will never
learn to live
in the moment
as long as
I keep believing
moments come
in different kinds.
I keep going.
After laboring with tongue hanging out
she floats down on the breath of angels
a wee satin-sash-wrapped package
a live porcelain doll featuring a delicate button nose
dark blue twinkles of magic, a pouting pucker, rosy cheeks
fine strands of dark fluff on her tiny head
ten, long little fingers and ten, perfect little piggies
a warm armful of squishy, squeeze-y, marshmallow-y sweetness.
This gift of sunshine and miracle—cause for my greatest affection
then
after wheeling out the hospital doors with delight hanging out
I’m hit head-on
by dry mouth, decreased capacity for air
racing heart and rushing mind.
Dragon-hot fire rages down my neck.
Skies darken, atmosphere cools
confidence burns, faith fails
hope diminishes, peace flees
The stork’s prize given to me—cause for my greatest anxiety.
What now?
