Posts for June 4, 2021 (page 13)

Category
Poem

Mama Rosa’s, Minneapolis, 1968

Her uniform a black polyester mini-jumper over
a white woven blouse, the ruffled cuffs blotched
with tomato sauce night after night, bleached

and dry in time for her to cross the driveway
to work, to serve baked rigatoni while Hey Jude
played over and over, the customers singing  

Take a sad song and make it better.
Singing to soothe the anomie, eating to forget
the lust and the lost, those dropping in Viet Nam,  

dropping out of school, dropping their vows.  
Nah nah nah nah nananah   Fashioning a new life,  
she learned to balance three plates at a time  

one each on hip, forearm and open palm. 
A relief to tune out the turmoil, to serve the singing
regulars, wipe down the table for the next.    

Let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin.                    


Category
Poem

Delusional

She feels safe alone here at night,
spotlighted in the bright glow of the security lamp;
a litter of fallen leaves covers the steps to the entrance.

The same key opens the main door to the Anatomy Building
and the door to her tiny office.
The building is silent except for the hum
of machinery in the labs.  

Closing her office door, no one knows she exists.

She fervently wishes that she might dissipate into nothing – 
the razor in her bottom desk drawer is a safety valve.  
So long as destruction is an option,
she doesn’t have to actually do it.
Sometimes knowing the weapon is there is enough.

Other nights, she has to touch it in order to feel
the claws of despair loosen their grip.  
The razor’s pull is strong tonight.

She turns her key in the lock, reaching for the drawer handle.
Touching the sharp edge doesn’t satisfy.  

Delicately, quiet as if someone might notice
and stop her hand,
she lifts the razor, feeling the cool metal in her hand.
She knows where to cut – had done so once long ago.

Her family thinks she has ‘outgrown’ whatever
the problem had been.  
But their complacence is misplaced, faulty.
Delusional, really…


Category
Poem

Wellness Check

The lady next door is dead.
The news came to me second hand,

passed down from some sweaty boy.
A total stranger paid off with a full tank 
to load his beat up truck down heavy
with the leftovers of her life. 
I didn’t ask how it happened 
or if there’d be a service 
with some small town congregation
telling sweet stories of the dearly departed
or envisioning her heavenly home
on the streets paved with gold. 

I didn’t ask because that boy
wouldn’t know no how 

and because I flat-out know better.
Cause somewhere on the breeze
her spirit cussed at me,
hit like like the sharp echo
of a hard hearted fist on my screen door
a bony reminder from beyond the grave
to mind my own goddamned business. 

 


Category
Poem

Blue green

It comes in waves.
Grief washing, pulling.

Surfing in California
the waters beat on the shore.
Tourist boats spot blue whales
on the horizon and you and I
are new to riding this wave
I paddle my board into the water,
cling to it as the sun bears down,
wind on my wet skin.
Hair whipping and sticking to my face.

Surfboards don’t have steering wheels and
I don’t know how to stand
in the distance where the whales are.
The wave comes crashing
large above me.
I’m supposed to dig in and ride 
until it takes me
to the solid ground.
I look over –

You always liked a little risk but I –
I don’t know why I’m out here
I don’t know how I’ve come this far.
The arguments are more confusing now
we take to the water to forget
these staunch differences and
the ocean sweeps my ring away
when I’m not looking
and the same wave comes.

There is nothing to do
but hold my breath till impact.

Inuit parents
tell their children of Qalupalik,
a monster in the sea
that will grab
disobedient offspring
and pull them to the depths.
It keeps the parents from having to yell;
it keeps the children from getting too close
to the water’s edge.


Category
Poem

Albert Camus and Humphrey Bogart in Marseilles, 1954

The boats were coming in from Algeria,
bringing the exiled pied noir, 

like Camus himself, 
during the Revolution.

Bogey handed him a cigarette, which Camus 
would never refuse.  “Américain?”

“Oui,” tersely replied the hard boiled actor.
Camus smoked the Lucky Strike with pleasure.

The Mediterranean scribbled impressions in his carnet, 
some snippets of poetry, or the way 

a waitress held herself.
Albert lingered on the waitress.

Bogey drank efficiently, bourbon on the rocks,
looking around the room 

with the look of a calmly scenting coonhound 
ready for a chase.

He kept a sharp eye on the door, glad
he was facing it.

The ice in his drink never melted.
He was missing someone, 

pouring more straight Kentucky 
into the glass.

In broken Anglais, Albert confided in Bogey,
“You know The Stranger, L’Etranger, was you?  

Yes?”  It was die hard detective novels, films,
clipped, economical, distinctly American 

monotone in The Maltese Falcon, in Casablanca—
and maybe it wasn’t all Bogey, 

maybe it was Edward G. Robinson.  
“You flatter me Albert; save it for the waitress.”

Albert had a wife—not that it ever mattered.
Bogey had Bacall—but she wasn’t here at all.

Bogey poured himself another, there was a bottle,
and there was no tab for him at the Café Américain.

Albert never lived fast enough to die of tuberculosis, 
and he puffed like a gentlemanly, 

suave talking dragon, 
or a steam train cutting through

the mountain lowlands in his homeland, 
as he wrote furiously, copy editing the room.

The waitress, Joséphine, brought a plate
of ham, olives, and cheeses, and left a note

on the platter, and Camus went straight
to it like a Baptist reaching for fried chicken.

Bogey leered smiling, his hand going
for the cheese, stirring his drink with his middle

finger.   “Get away much, Albert?”  
Which in fact he had been doing all his life.

His second wife, Francine 
was on the verge of a third mental breakdown, 

on the heels of the fourth affair of their married life.
Camus had long since referred to her as ‘sister’

to allow her what he termed “erotic freedom”
but she took no honor in that.

That night, as he tore into the statuesque flesh 
of French fried chicken on the bay,

he heard Francine’s frantic voice say,
“Albert, you are no Parisian sophisticate,

you are both a child of the sun, 
and of the red, dusty slum.

Scarcity, mon chéri, is your landlord, 
always the luxurious cream

upon which you subsist.
You owe me everything, weasel 

I will not apologize!  You owe 
your legacy, you bastard—“

—“Albert?”  
“Oui ma chère Joséphine?”

Come back to bed, 
come back to me.


Category
Poem

Scarred

We all bear the scars of our past,
Scarred both mental and physical govern our actions,
Scars of failure wreck havoc on our mind,
Scars of rejection destroy our heart,
Scars of depression cover our skin,
Scars are reminders of who we are,
Of what we have been through,
Our scars are never the end,
But the beginning of something new,
We decide how we carry our scars,
We dictate what those scars mean,
The past does not decide our future,
Our scars are just one part of us,
Not our definition


Category
Poem

Professional Development

A good dog will give you twelve year’s
obedience before breaking your heart.

I have not found the heart to replace
my good dog. It’s been almost five years.

This is part avoidance, but part enjoying
not owning a dog. This poem isn’t sad.

Most people I know seem to wait a year
before a new dog. People with cats less.

I have cats now. When my oldest cat dies,
I’ll wait three months out of respect and

then probably try to find one that’s nicer.
Don’t fret: she has tried to find someone

better many times, but apparently prefers
the brand of kibble I supply, the warm lap.

We have an understanding. When my car
died, I drove another one off a lot that night.

A car is not a dog even though it obeys,
nor is it a cat even though it’s workings

are mysterious to me. What I’m saying is
there’s a necessary waiting period before

it’s appropriate to replace something alive.
This goes for people, too. There is a period.

What I’m really saying is that I was in no
mood today, the day after graduation,

to sit in department meetings to plan next
year’s assessments, hours after the last

tossed mortar board hit the floor, hours
after the best parties had just ended.