Posts for June 5, 2023 (page 8)

Sometimes, I startle

“Beloved, I am un-gathered here…I touch and smell in the rough flesh…”—Bob Hicok, “Elegy’s”  

Like winter after fall, I follow you, Beloved.
Love, like satori, kicks you in the I.
Sex in the pm, coffee in the am.
Deciding who picks up which kid can feel like the U.N.,
where world class negotiators have gathered.
They’re from their homelands over there, but they’ve come here…  

You can’t spell “relationship” without “I” and “I.”
Your skin has much to teach me when we touch.
Our love binds us together the way the word “and”
joins the senses when we say “taste and smell
and see and hear and touch.” “Love I’m in,”
says Yoda after he meets a green gal and learns the
force that governs the stars, the winds, and the rough
waters is love, the touching of flesh by flesh…

We land,
Touching down for our connecting flight.
I turned airplane mode off,
And the texts flew in.

In that moment, 
I felt my heart beat stop.

Actually, I felt the whole world stop.

That moment changed something inside of me.
I spent five fucking years
Trying to get a grip on my life after what happened.
After he happened.

And to have it resurface all over again?
It was too much to bear.

That new found knowledge
That what he did to me,
He has done to
Five
Other women since me
Literally
Fucking
Destroyed
Me.

I can’t ask you to understand what it felt like then.
I can’t ask you to understand what it feels like now.
I can’t ask you to understand at all.

I’m sorry you got caught in the crossfires
Of a burdened past
And overwhelming emotions.

Sure, I can create a sonnet for you. Here’s a Shakespearean sonnet:

Beneath the gaze of twilight’s lustrous eye,
A symphony of stars adorns the sky.
The moon conducts, in silence and in grace,
This cosmic orchestra in time and space.

The whispers of the night, in gentle flow,
Speak a language only hearts may know.
A sonnet writ upon the canvas dark,
Lit by the soft glow of each stellar spark.

Yet in this vast expanse, we find our place,
In starlight’s tender, omnipresent embrace.
Though small we are, beneath the night’s grand dome,
In the silent cosmos, we find our home.

In stars, we find our story, love and strife,
The poetry of the universe, the verse of life.

cradle yesterday

staple what i say

to your bedside place

and keep going

check your old id

see what i see

grow eternally

and stop running

let me hold you down

i can keep you now

help me sew your frown

we’ll be loving

Golden chunks of fruit
Hand picked, lovingly preserved
Empty shelf, full me

be our guest
turn up the music
be your guest
headphones head to the self-checkout
be your on guest
turn on the podcast that casts you out
be your own guest
unplug and face the silence
alone with my thoughts
at last

I wore a cashmere coat. It is draped on the back of my chair.
I have never worn such a coat. It makes me feel rich.

I have a silver ring on my finger. Artist made, not a wedding band.
The sleeves of my black silk blouse are tight. Two buttons are left undone.
Curvilinear lines create a voluptuous V. I am wearing a long gold necklace
with a circle pendant from the Theosophical Society.

My hair is naturally dark. A chin length wedge,
parted slightly off center. I have had a mild perm.

My glasses are rose tinted. This is how I see the world. My complexion is smooth.
Pink lips form the slightest smile. My eyes are soft and confident.

They say, without speaking, I see that you see me. I came to the crossroads
and chose that which should not be chosen. I am prepared. I know what I am doing.

I never wanted to be a phoenix. 

but, then again,
I guess I never really wanted to be a pile of ash, 
either.