until another day
took a walk
and finally let go
of at least some of it
grateful for the hazy sky
and wildflowers
bees buzzing
bunnies
some species of decorated bird
goodbye to the angst and turmoil
until another day
took a walk
and finally let go
of at least some of it
grateful for the hazy sky
and wildflowers
bees buzzing
bunnies
some species of decorated bird
goodbye to the angst and turmoil
until another day
Because I know you are not endgame,
We are not endgame
And that’s okay, I’ve accepted it
All I want is right now,
I want to live and breathe every moment right now
I do not want to live for the future
Or live for finding my future
I want to be exactly where I’m supposed to be right now
Doing what I should be,
And making memories with people in the right now
Because right now is all we have
The past is the past
And the future is not guaranteed
We will never be more alive than we are right now
Right now is all we are,
I want to live only in the right now
Beauty is a loving balm
that seeks to heal
the ache of death riding the horizon
drives by in a blur, shoots randomly
drops bombs, breathes fire
Is that death now? — Revving up his engine
in the parking lot?
Why does he park so close to the house?
He encircles us
stepping lightly
I hear fingertips touching
the mural on our side wall
gliding even closer
leaning in
but then a stumble
hesitating
stillness
a deafening silence
before he moves on
into the dark of night
The Beauty of Morning
finds his broken bottles
and medicinal discards by our gate
He did not find
what he wanted
here last night
and
rode on
I saw your face, your face,
Face,
Face, face; Your face!
Come here and melt yourself into me! Come
Complete my body with your arms, legs, hair,
Face! Come to mine and tell me that we will drive
In your car until I belong in your world,
Until I feel like I am someone to grip onto
Without hesitation. Let me share in your face,
Until I am someone.
In a late night fit
Of staring-at-middle-age exercise
I rediscovered Amy Winehouse
Listening to her
Crooning
And thought of her frazzled beehive
The heavy wing of her eyeliner
The wasting vining muscles of her
Arms
And how I always thought she was too skinny
Guess I was right
And that poor woman
Poor girl–I might be older than her now
Shit am I older than Amy Winehouse?
Her voice is still beautiful
Scratch and warmth on the waves
And I vow to keep listening
And to live like maybe she didn’t
But maybe wanted to
Because beauty and joy
Should live on
Somehow
I practice my dulcimer on the porch
these summer evenings
surrounded by spotlights of lightning bugs,
and it’s nine at night when I come in and realize
I haven’t written my daily poem.
“Write one about dulcimers,” my daughter says.
So I am.
I look forward to the pause of music
to an activity no one expects me to master
something I can be bad at and just do
because it’s fun, trying new tunes and singing off-key.
Although, I do love listening to songs strummed and
sang by experts, and I relish in the sound of music well-made,
I indulge in doing it badly
right there on my front steps
where the only thing that matters is making joy.
Fresh flowers in a pretty vase
Seeing my favorite person’s handsome face
Kitty cats in silly poses
Yards with Lillies and Roses
A fresh new book that has never been read
Clean sheets and blankets on my bed
Chatting with a group of old friends,
where we have a conversation that never ends
Chocolate of any kind
Being able to speak my mind
Helping others who have a need
Writing a poem for others to read
taste
pleasure
fuck
moan
on the edge
heavy breathing
sweat dripping
moan
fuck
pleasure
taste
supple skin
softness
slow tonguing flickering
like the fire smoldering
in between me
dark
smoke
moans rising like prayerful
incense
taste
pleasure
I wept when you turned your back to me
finished
I needed more than a fucking and some moaning
Today, the sun fell fast from the sky
I didn’t have time to say goodnight
to wish it sweet dreams
to whisper, “I’ll see you when you wake.”
The other stars gathered in clusters
peeking between clouds
snickering at me with their bright smirks
I admire the sun’s swift exit,
especially when the galaxies crowd the darkness–
The sly cover it took right before my eyes:
Impressive, yes?
I guess I must rise early to apologize for my foolish timekeeping —
a regret I hope to never revisit
a truth I hope to never take for granted.
Little grains of fallen rice
lay on the cupboard floor
sprinkled with some random spice
and really nothing more.
I found a piece of raisin bread
and toasted it a bit.
I wished it were a muffin top
from the coffee shop I quit.
My car was broke and so was I,
but I knew a corner store nearby.
I grabbed my coat and penny cash.
I bought six eggs and canned beef hash.
I hurried home and lit the fire.
I dressed like someone fit to hire.
I fried an egg and saved the rest
and vowed today I’d try my best.