Posts for June 30, 2023 (page 9)

more about your
       common heart-
            easy below

blocked by emotions
  in case you learn

       can’t get enough
blood from the body

       can live only a few-
easier in narrow supply
cut off too much inside

exceeded my expectations
yet not in a positive way
this did not pan out like I imagined
or rather, hoped
rains pours from a thunder filled sky
today
this last day of June
I’m reminded the second half begins tomorrow
I smile after shedding a few tears
and muster some self encouragement
nothing is awful and I will remain
I am that stable 
though I feel numb
disappointed more than anything
I am ready, or so I thought
the Universe though, has other plans
I despise self-pity
so I pledge not to stay in this state long
tomorrow is a new day
new month, etcetera
this day, I choose to allow the rain and wind have their way
mainly because I apparently cannot have mine

My 11th grade English teacher told me 
I wrote one of the best story entries.

She was the last person to tell me that. 

Years of rejection followed by zero congratulations. 

I think about her, what she saw, what she read. 

I wonder what spark I had 
and why it dimmed 

Or maybe, she was just lying. 

Believe it or not
We are, in fact, open and
We do deliver!

Thoughtless

As we choke on smoke 
from faraway flames, you say,
I hope it won’t rain.

Squall

White flash, raucous crash!
Instant ear-splitting thunder.
My heart scares up, flushed
like a dog-hunted pheasant,
settles with the smell of rain.

The tree whose roots cannot reach

missed the theater
you’d marked
and about-faced
dust secret
between my toes

runing the long way
down towards
the house keeping
your relics secure
against rains
one even bears
your name,
saint francis envelopped
silent beside
the trees
of lightfused metal

(from Baladas y Canciones del Paraná [1953-1954])

Now, the clouds carried me 
     flying 
to the map of Spain.
How slight on the river,
and vast on the pastures
the loom of shadow that was cast!

Horses completely filled 
the pall thrown on the meadows.
And I, mounted among them,
looked for my country and for 
     my home.

I happened 
into a muddy open-air yard
     once a watery spring.
Although no fount remained
     it echoed back for always.
I say, the water that did not flow  
     returned to give me coolness.

Author: Rafael Alberti
Translator: Manny Grimaldi 

there was Chase Lake
just outside the blue line
on the edge of the Adirondacks. 

Its tea-colored waters warmed
by sun, cooled by underwater
springs. Sunnies and blue gills

easy catches from the dock,
biting on worms or bologna.
Pan fried, a delicious breakfast.

Canoe, rowboat, paddle boat,
freedom on the water. Swimming
to the little island, picking

blueberries for pancakes.
Beavers lodge, otter slide
at Parson’s pond. Every

summer full of magical
surprise, until it all 
suddenly ended. 

At 5:30 sharp we sat down to dinner, Dad at the head and the five of us kids scattered 
around. There was meatloaf with the Heinz ketchup brown sugar glaze and Mom’s
homemade scalloped potatoes creamy with milk, slivers of onion, grated cheddar cheese
dotted with butter.. Steamed fresh green beans. She always had three, a meat, starch, and
vegetable. Salad was lettuce, quartered bright red tomatoes, shiny green sticks of green
pepper from Dad’s backyard patch of garden.

Dinnertime was family time. After the blessing, the boys would wolf down  their food,
especially the meat. It was a race to grab the last piece of meat on the platter. Dad watched 
like a hawk, diving in for the kill piercing the meat with his fork. A collective groan emerged.

We were hungry, not in the mood for Dad’s barrage of questions. My friend Linda Lynn
gave it the moniker, 20 Questions after staying with us one summer which is a whole other
story. Dad chortled when she said it, something we would be sent to our room for even 
suggesting. He tried to connect and keep abreast of our lives, both academic and social.
Mom filled in the gaps, cushioned the bad, always the peacemaker. How was the math test?
 You mean the one you kept me up till 2am showing your engineering precision to my artsy 
brain? Who needs algebra anyway?

Pitting us against each other while he watched from the sidelines laughing. Aware
that he did it for amusement, we fell for it every time. He took time to know our 
triggers. Deep down we were glad.