The Note
Stephen King wrote
my
husband
a
note.
It said
“Stay
dark
my
friend.
maybe
i’ll
see you
in Bangor. “
Then it
rained
for
days.
And my
whole
body
ached.
(for my sister, Missy Cecil
— who’s more than a birder)
eyes clear sleep
blinking
in down gown
window dove
singing
heart wonder
cecil missle-thistle
seeking
perch chrip
darwin on the sill
trilling
birdie birdie birdie
She doesn’t need you
Wandering through the aisles at Kroger
Looking for garbanzos
I see a woman holding a can of baked beans
Grey hair, gnarled fingers, laugh lines
Wearing lime green capri pants and white crocs
She turns to me and says
It’s the only thing he remembered in the end
Just this, not my name or who I was, just these beans
I nod and say wow, that’s hard
You have no idea she says
Putting the beans back on the shelf
We wander on
My father. His brother.
My mother who pretended
nothing bad was happening.
The boys who beat me
because I couldn’t pretend
they had anything I needed.
The girls who shamed me
for not being straight,
or hated me for my courage.
When you know how monsters
and demons truly look and feel,
the last day of October is a treat.
[after an unattributed, circa 1930 photograph of Halloween costumes, seen at
It is so easy to let life get you down
There are the little inconviences
of cars breaking down, other irritating things
that totally throw you off
Then there are the huge things
your children in bad situations
of their own choosing, but dire
deaths of loved ones
job loss and huge expenses at
the same time
being in pain yourself,
or loved ones being in pain,
people just being plain mean,
life is sometimes just too much
But the optimist in me, ALWAYS
looks for the bright side
the kindness that occurs just when
you most need it
the sun shining bright in the sky
beautiful blue sky and birds singing
flowers blooming and bees buzzing
all around them
a neighboorhood cat rubbing up
against my leg as I am leaving
to do something very unpleasant
It can be a tough world,
but it can be beatiful, too
Look for the light and goodness,
don’t focus on the darkness
it can and will consume you
You in the corner,
that neon Budweiser sign
lighting up your face—
how’s about I buy us one
& see how far it takes us?
Ants in the kitchen
It’s getting warm outside
And the ants are coming in
I’m the type of person that will scoop up an insect and take it back out
But I cannot have ants in my kitchen
It pains me as I put a small line of insecticide on the caulking between the counter and the wall
Knowing they’ll eat the poison, take it back to their nest and die
Killing the rest of the brood as their bodies rot where they lie
Some hours pass and I notice seven of them crowded around the line of sweetened toxicant
While one lone ant stands at the edge of the counter, looking outward, guarding
Blissfully unaware that each brother and sister that returns is an insecticidal bomb, impending detonation
Little ant
How many times has my own ignorance led me to guard something dangerous?
How many people are standing on alert to defend something they claim as righteous, because they’re blind to its shadowed malevolence?
Observing you has been a quick lesson in patience for those who do not know whats behind the barricade will lead to their inevitable snuffing
And I hope that when ignorance paired with righteousness gets the best of me, or gets the best of you, I can forgive myself and forgive you, you can forgive me too
I’m so sorry little ant
But I simply cannot have you in my kitchen
Arms raised
Hands to the sky
I’m on your rollercoaster.
Stomach pitting, heart dropping lows.
Vast highs that take my breath away with closeness to the sun.
I trust in the safety of you next to me, we are together so tightly we couldn’t let go if we tried.
And yet the gravity pull and blind corners leave me screaming in fear
And excitement
Lurching
Rattling
crackling
F a s t!! on smooth casters
Teeth clenched then a
Mouth thrown wide open because i can’t contain my stomach and joy.
We reel and swirl then
halt with a jolt
only to start again slowly
And take the ride around another time
