What I meant to say is it feels odd
to trust people while I’m lying
on a stretcher but what came out
was that I want living and loving
to hurt that’s how I know they’re real,
whereas in my dreams I feel no pain
and have 360 degree vision like a rabbit,
thus no need to trust anyone or anything
but my own vision, whereas in the real
world one of the inherent limitations
of being human is that we only have eyes
in the front of our heads or in my case
on the back of the side of my head where
all the hair used to be, unlike pigmy owls
who have decoy eyes in back that predators
can pluck out rather than the good, working ones
and I meant to say people will betray you
when you’re not looking especially those outside
the group whom we refer to as the others
but what came out was I feel alienated
from the group like I’m another other
and I meant to say I feel alone
but what came out was I need a loan
and I smiled at the homophone, because I love
poetry, because I’m a knight in the night,
I let bees be, I dig the whole hole, and
I got rejected, left alone by lenders
and rightfully so and I meant to say
I discovered poetry and sex at about the same time
but what came out is that both, for me,
are about my desire to be desired
I meant to be polite and say please with tears
in my eyes but what came out were pleas and tears
in the middle of the pages where the words
that came out couldn’t touch what I meant to say.
