Posts for June 3, 2025 (page 13)

Received a notice: “Congratulations! I have
bad news to share with you.” Left it unread.
Read instead of the golden eyes of reindeer
and thought to endure like that in whatever
constitutes my own onslaught of sun.
Read instead of two ancient worms
thawed from Siberian ice yet allowed
my own coldness to continue to encase me.
Embarrassed myself by wondering
if my impact could be wildfire-big—
blew a whole lot of smoke at some time
for sure. Did not want to gain from tragedy,
feared that I might. Wished to wash
my metaphors, wished to swish out
the great mouth of imagination that chews me.

By a lake gone black and cold with autumn rain, 
in a silent verdant chapel of whispering pines,
a woman kneels to pray

Tears and words tangle and tumble, 
like angry river water over rock 

She lifts her voice,
confessing to her fear

A kestrel breaks from cover, 
hunting down her words

“Be fierce!”
the winged warrior screams

“Be fierce.”  

While you continue to be angry at me
For perceived abandonment
I will not respond with a litany of your failures
Past and present and future
(yes I can predict where you will fail me)
And while I hope I am leaving you
Better than I found you
I know that I cant continue to save you
Its time to save myself

little blue pill
in its stead of big blue’s
after clues uncovered 
force feeding
of formaldehyde when we 
joined with Death
as Hands of God—

awake I 
waller with 
whatever beguiles
more and more blue 
pills placebo swallow
glaze roadkill picked
somewhere along roadways. 

and if not blue,
a pill of red,
a pox unto their white teeth
their picketed property
their children
their reverence
for ephemeral dream

no freedom
just generation—
capitalism married
after repeated blitzkriegs
birthed stockholm trauma
formed Greater Will 
we cannot abort. 

Things Missing Somewhere in This House

My birth bertificate…
A box of needed, new bank checks…
Both our wedding rings…
My Waterman fountain pen…
After 4 decades, at least 3 dozen
   of Jim’s odd socks & 2 dozen of mine…
2 Roku remotes, 1 somewhere
   upstairs & 1 here downstairs…
(Worrying) The hand-written letters I received
   from Thornton Wilder & Samuel Beckett…
My nonchalance about tornadoes after last month
   when Jim’s sis-in-law’s home
   was destroyed in Laurel County…
(Most   tragically) Half of our hearts —
   after our 2 sons (brothers whom we adopted
   when they were aged 2 & 4)…And
   so completely adored by us for 14 years,
   but who were
then,
one horrid day, driven off
   by their birth-mother (in her suddenly
   arrived car)…Back to SC where
   they were born…And since that day when
  they left, they’ve not contacted us…
20 years of our youthful daydreams…
(Woefully) The bottom half of my right leg,
   which somehow returned here with me
   from the hospital after the surgeon took it
   17 months ago, & which with
   painful phantom screams,
keeps pleading
   to be re-joined…
(& Thankfully) My distance away from Jesus…

Raining carving knives and hammers
For miles around
From angry parents in the kitchen.
Useless umbrella
Shredded like mozzarella.

A hubcap beret,
Clanging in the ears
Make it across the street?
Die in tears

Hunker down under the curb
In the sewer drain.
To hell with that clown.

One year ago today I am sure
I could not sleep; and now I am
weightless, frozen, suspended
in quiet.

rain has slowed the garden to a tease

closed clusters of catalpa hang lazily

only a pale green hint of hydrangea

late blooming angel lily holds its breath

magnolia, pregnant with fat creamy buds,

flowers one deliberate day at a time