Posts for June 10, 2025 (page 2)

i held her tiny face in the palm of my hands. i searched her eyes for permission to call
the whole thing off. i wondered for a moment if we should wait just one more day.
but she laid there calmly. bravely. tired.

we were told it could take up to 30 seconds or it could be 3 to 5 minutes. i panicked.
i feared it would be too quick and then worried it could take too long. Fifteen years 
was but a drop in the bucket and yet one more minute seemed a distance too far. 

i kissed her on her forehead. she held me with gentle breezes of her final breaths.
i told her she was a very good girl. i yelled out her name. i heard the sound of death
rush a final wave through the port. Before I could offer one more goodbye-
our old gal Mojo, simply burst away.

How I feel like it’s 100 degrees
The bright red difference of the top of my arm
And the bottom
They way everyone says “you got some sun”
Like I didn’t already know
The reminder it gives of the fun day I had
Eating watermelon, reading
And floating down the lazy river
Knowing I should apply more than I do
Then there’s the stage of worrying about the wrinkles I’ll have
I spend about an hour on that
The sweet reminder that it won’t matter when I grow old,
And anyways,
We’ll all make our way to the sun eventually

Each year at Christmas from 1962 -71,
I’d walk the 2 miles
To the downtown stores,
With $60 in my wallet, which dad
Had given to me
To get some presents for mom.
For that amount in those days,
I’d hunt  store racks and shelves
Umtil I found  for her –

– a girdle                                         a bra
a blouse  for her job                     a nightgown                    

2 pairs nylon  stockings

It would take
   All of one Saturday afternoon
Until
I found the nicest
For the best prices.
The gifts were
The same every year.
As I recall that decade
Of Christmas mornings,
Mom was always glad to
For her new gifts
of the same old things… 

once you’ve heard one gunshot
why not another?
The way the snow looked
under that floodlight—
I did not love it
or you
in that harshness,
in that cold.
I missed the blood 
and the warmth of it. 
once you’ve held the gun
why not shoot?
All you need to do after
is live

Maybe I’m so tired all the damn time because of how many times a day someone second guesses me. Go ahead, google it, I’ll wait. Better yet, you all stand here, take your time mulling it over. “That can’t be right?” I am, but we’re good. I’ll walk home, take a nap, stretch my limbs. I’ll leave y’all to it.

calluses soften
pain floods back
against steel string
yet my hands
ache to remember

I balance on the sides of my deformed fifth metatarsals,
creeping for the exit door. The bones of my feet
smashed gradually, but that part was painless, 
weightless. I was numb long before, waning in stages,
testing new ways to hurt. Right now it is the double
head hovering behind mine, swallowing kitchens
with her sharp, baking soda white teeth. Right now
it is my nails and inner arms radiating a vivid blue,
dehydrated veins blown out from the labwork,
ice sedimenting inside, samples hemolyzed
through downsized needles probing translucent flesh.
I wait as steroids dissolve keloids, the black cuts simmer.
The results come slow. I dose myself with agonizing clarity.

I’m an indoor person. 
Give me my air conditioning. 
I sweat if it’s over seventy degrees.
I don’t ever tan, I only burn.
Mosquitos find me delicious. 
Don’t ever ask me to go camping, 
Even glamping is too much. 

Today was enough to lure me outside,
in a chair in my driveway, evening falling.

When the fireflies started
their strobing mating dance,
and the light faded to a sliver of pink,
I came inside. 

I escaped with only two mosquito bites,
so I might go out again tomorrow. 
But this time I’ll wear bug spray.

                                   for Janice Roberts

fully opened magnolia blossoms
grace the altar this day
a light zest of lemon
draws you into its full beauty
the best is when you’re up close
like to the very heart of God.

leatherbond notebook, my first perception check.

Anxiously crafting, surfing websites,

Message boards on how to balance; not wreck.

One night a month to really get it right

I scribble some notes, review last encounter.

Collect grey minis, paintbrush realm forgotten

Refreshments:Ale8, Athletic, bourbon anything but water

Park, test carrying weight from the car

Setup, papers, bright screens woodland scenes

Brown light filters through a garage bar

Spotify playlist allows musical dream

practiced voice, stole a podcast few

Roll, move, battle, reveal, critical fail

Jobe appears, laughter ensues

Pizza is scoffed, slapped backs, continued tale. 

When your yearning creates such strife

Sacrifices made, low initiatives small goodbyes

Sometimes it good to give a new try

Making the world a better place, at least in this life