I’m in the town where you used to live,
walking past all the places you showed me on the map.
You’ll never get to show me what they are like.
You didn’t pass away but it feels like you did.
Maybe I’m still holding on to life with you.
I wish you could have been here with me, and I wish I didn’t have to leave.
I needed more than you could offer, and I wonder if I’ll ever stop missing you.
I pushed my subconscious up a hole in the floor
The room above is dark, I pushed the darkness away and stretched out to get a sense of the space
A child is revealed in the darkness, alone and tears streaming down their face
‘You don’t have to carry your burdens alone son,’ I tried to say, but nothing came
He was alone as I was, both of us powerless
I could feel his pain, a fiery rage burning out of control
Unable to help, unable to do anything to ease his pain, I began to feel myself being pulled through the hole in the floor
He suffers as I do, but he has been forced to walk alone.
The darkness begins to return, I can feel myself slipping back into the voided maw of sorrow.
I’ll be back, I won’t give up on you my son…
fuzzy bumble knot you did not
give fair warning
looping down all twee-ly
into a violent beeline to a hip
& zip over to a thigh–
the burn delayed a split-second
before I could flap my hat wildly
& miss cursing–
you bobbing bobbling to the roof
you diving driving at me again–
an angry stripey pompom
clinging to my watchband
slipping your stinger into my wrist
what did I do to deserve this indiscriminate stinging–
these jabs into my legs & wrist–
this holy trinity of needling throb & itch–
when I was only standing on my porch
is this payback for
the thwacks of a cheap badminton racket
twanging woodbees from a porch long-ago
or your venomous benediction:
forgo a watch &
forget steps & time–
revert to reflexive wildness–
swell & scratch & cuss
✨Soul Mirror✨
I rise with the morning,
still heavy with sleep from the night before.
Birdsong greets the world
a soft hymn that quiets the ache,
older than the mountain view from my stoop.
I open the cupboard,
searching for a mug
to fill with the sweet decadence of something hot.
The warmth seeps in,
soothing what’s sore.
I choose my mug like I choose myself-
chipped, perhaps,
faded at the edges.
Whole and brand new.
Old and questionable.
Tacky, sometimes.
In these small, strange moments
realization strikes,
and my old poet’s heart beats quicker.
Inspiration lives here,
in the quiet,
in the choosing,
in the sip.
In every breath I finally remember to take.
Today, I stand before you,
and I speak these words from my whole heart:
You are loved by me,
in every moment we have shared,
and in every moment still to come.
You will be loved by me,
through laughter that fills our home,
and through tears we may not yet know.
Through bright mornings and restless nights,
through certainty and through the unknown.
In sickness and in health,
I stand by you—
when your strength carries us,
and when mine will carry you.
You are loved by me,
a promise made
not only for a day,
but a love that chooses you— every single day.
A commitment to our hearts.
This is my vow.
I will love you.
I
am made up of prisms.
Earlier as I lay in the Sunshine,
my arm over my eyes like a shield
squinting from the brightness of the sun,
I saw them.
There in the crook of my left elbow
were the prisms.
Hundreds, thousands maybe,
twinkling neon colored prisms.
Beautiful blue-green and rose
changing to yellow then orange
and back again.
Round little prisms!
I reflect.
Give no notice
to the opinions of others.
They think little of you. Give
them no weight. Hand stretched
warm around your cup,
you are alive.
Your very existence proof
that you are loved.
how can your world mean so much to me when my world doesn’t mean anything to me?
i give &
give &
give
until there is nothing left of me
look here. at me begging
on my knees
for you not to leave me
i care so deeply for your feelings
yet so little for my own
i am willing to burry myself
for your comfort
make myself smaller
until i am dust
particles
you breathe me in
and i kiss your lungs
being thankful i have landed somewhere
safe
until you exhale me out
once more
the curtians left open
for the light is full
to bath my self as an ally
Of a Strawberry Moon
Smooth and full and ready to be pulled
in the dark of the light
open and never left hoping
Walk dog no my.
Not really.
Lazy today lazy day lazy.
Shining overhead,
I finally
am sun.
Dog cupboard
empty is
no bones.
Sunglasses broken.
