Scottish Exit Irony
We pull up to the curb
Daddy jumps out and says
wait here honey, I’ll be out quickly.
Somewhere in downtown D.C.
stood this little hole in the wall office
with the sign Scottish Exit on the door.
Daddy returns and drives off.
We are on the way to sail his boat.
I ask him what he just did.
He explains that he pays
money to this group that works
hard to make euthanasia of humans
possible and legal, worldwide.
He tells me his views and why
he feels the importance of this group.
Daddy is older and suffering.
He has some type of throat cancer.
He is blind by macular degeneration.
He takes chemo and radiation.
He is already bald.
Daddy is weak.
Daddy does not want to die.
Daddy bounces back and feels better
until the cancer returns.
Daddy does the treatment over
Daddy is weaker this time and needs more help.
Daddy feels sick and can’t eat.
Daddy doesn’t want to die.
Daddy recovers and starts to do things.
Daddy buys a tank of helium.
Daddy puts the tank of helium in the trunk of his car.
Daddy asks his wife to help him when the time comes.
She is in denial and she will not help him,
she loves him. It is illegal to help him die.
She tries to care for him alone at home.
She is worried and under stress.
Daddy won’t go suck helium by himself.
I ask Daddy if he is fighting his mortality.
I tell Daddy that it is time.
Daddy does not want to die.
Daddy gets sick again.
This is the last time, he says
new treatment guaranteed to work.
Daddy says new chemicals won’t make him weak or sick.
They lied to him.
He falls and bumps his head he needs more help.
His wife struggles alone.
My brother and I visit Daddy.
He asks us if he is dying.
We tell him he is.
We tell him that it is ok to die.
We tell him to let go.
I tell him that he has never believed
that he should be a burden.
We tell him that he is a burden.
We tell Daddy’s wife to move Daddy.
Daddy must go to a nursing home.
Daddy falls at the nursing home.
Daddy goes to the hospital.
Daddy won’t die.
Daddy goes home.
Hospice helps Daddy’s pain.
Hospice helps Daddy’s wife.
Hospice Helps Daddy die!