Saying Hello: A (New) Marriage Ritual
You enter the kitchen through the basement door.
I’m sitting at the table reading over half-written essays.
I look at the clock and see that it’s 7:43 AM.
I walk towards you, but I cannot hug you
because COVID won’t allow it.
Its undetectability and stealth attack change our marriage’s ancient ritual: saying hello.
You stand still, hold your arms out, and offer a sweet smile.
It’s your way to say, “Honey, I’m home.”
I wink and nod to say, “Good morning. I love you.”
After 18 years, words aren’t always necessary.
Only today, I wish they were.
I miss the days when we’d rush towards each other,
hold one another tight and laugh.
I miss kissing your lips.
I miss your lips kissing mine.
I miss feeling your face stubble scratch my soft cheek.
I miss the tiny twinge of sadness I’d feel when one of us let go.
I was usually the first to let go.
It’s been three months since we embraced when either of us entered the house.
We agreed that no touching until we shower is what’s best for our safety,
Safety we thought we had.
Safety we though we understood.
Safety we are privileged to have.
Safety that we understand differently now.
You leave more than I do.
You come home more than I do.
You respond first, and more than I do.
I walk past you to start the laundry you tossed into the machine.
Your uniform is bunched on one side of the agitator
as if it’s too tired to stretch itself for a proper wash.
I see this in you today, but I won’t say it aloud.
I reach for the detergent and splatter it on your clothes–
Dark blue soap soaks through your light blue shirt, oozes down that famous FDNY patch, and pools into your pants pocket–
You forgot to call so I’d know you’d be on your way home.
I want to put the soap in the machine properly, but it’s too late now and
it’s not important, because I forgot to unbunch your uniform anyway.
7 thoughts on "Saying Hello: A (New) Marriage Ritual"
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Beautifully sad.
Tragically wonderful.
It’s only a shower…and the hope that there’s an after is the new blessing.
Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Joseph. It still breaks my heart. His job is so dangerous and I just want to rush over to him and I want us to hold each other. It’s so strange to fight that urge and to just…keep a distance until he’s showered and taken his temperature like six times. There have been a few weeks where he’s socially distanced from me in our own house. Sleeping in an empty bed while he’s downstairs on the couch was so odd.
I know it seems like only a shower, but it changed the way we interact with each other upon first glance, after days of absence from one another (shift work is real). It feels wrong on so many levels.
Thank you for reading and for commenting. I appreciate you so much!
I appreciate this poem because I’ve been feeling guilty about the social distancing at home, especially when the other person is reaching out to you.
💔💯
Many thanks, Gabby. Yes, it’s challenging to be the one who gets to socially distance. Sending you peace and love.
Captivating and clear. Heart-wrenching.
Thank you for every word of this unique experience.
The agitator and the uniform especially got to me.
Stay safe. Be well.
Many thanks, Tabitha Dial! It is RARE when I write about my husband. I try to keep our relationship private, but with everything happening all around us, it’s hard not to.
I appreciate your kind words and I thank you for reading this. <3