i can’t remember the last time i caught a firefly 
and i don’t know when i stopped calling them
lightbing bugs 

time passes, and the frequency with which i say
“my memory is terrible” is getting worrisome 
i know 

no one warned me about this part of imbalance.
the tidal gaps of rushing water once a moment 
now forgotten

i’m too afraid to talk about how afraid i am.
like maybe if i don’t speak it out loud, it’s 
not real

so for now i’ll fill my notebooks and keep my fingers
crossed that photographs take long enough 
to fade