Sometimes I ponder: Am I a good teacher?
I’ve studied so many tricks
try to follow all the rules of school
ABCs and 123s
but I question what it all means

Sometimes I think: Someone is better.
they know all the tricks
don’t follow all the rules because tenure
teaches what they want at their leisure
and don’t feel the weight of administrative pressure

Sometimes I doubt: I don’t think I can do this.
the majority student demographic is different from me
it makes me feel like I’m a person in between a comedic tragedy
because I go in with the hope to try and help each kid
but I am different from this place they grew up in

Sometimes I feel: I am no good to them.
someone else should teach them in my stead
because they know them better, lived the life they’ve led
and they’ll choose them over me instead
that’s the comparison in my head

Sometimes I am told: Thank you, Mrs. Jones
by a student who doesn’t quite fit the mold
just like me, living in a different reality
and find solace in kindred commonality
in my classroom’s abnormality

Sometimes I’d like to believe: Maybe I am needed
by children who feel defeated
by the rural ideas of their hometown
because their identity has been shot down
and is being attacked by governments now

Sometimes I ask: What can I do?
to help make things improve
ensure that the storms they’ll have to weather
end them up someplace far better
but no answers I can find in these letters

Sometimes I accept this fact: All I can do is be there for them.
try to give them hope when they are condemned
by classmates who just don’t understand
that she is not a man
that they are more than the societal gender span

Sometimes I wonder: What does it mean to be a teacher?
treat every kid equally and equitably
but when society doesn’t do that
and restricts us from teaching them all of life’s facts
how are we supposed to react?

Sometimes: The word to define this young teacher.
they are uncertain, struggle to stand on their own two feet
trying to teach lessons that feel utterly incomplete
wanting to believe they can grow young minds
but are pinned down by emotional and societal confines