I am running out of floor space;
my items and belongings and hobbies and dreams
and wishes of the cool person I could be
collect dust
hide bugs
pile and pile and
detritus and debris sediment
into new collections of stuff?
Not for a geologist but a cleaning service.
I am gross and disgusting!
no one would ever marry me—
that’s what my dad said (before I was old enough to know parents could be wrong about things.)
I haven’t double checked that since.

I want connection
but you’ll abandon me if you see how messy my house is.
(I’ve done it before…
my parents made it seem like that’s how the world works.
is it?
Most people aren’t my parents.
I don’t know what most people do.)