The stars: little threads
In this city you will never see,
night wills itself in the way night does
where you are: sky is smudge.
The stars: little threads, hinting
behind the clouds like a needle
through dark demin.
night wills itself in the way night does
where you are: sky is smudge.
The stars: little threads, hinting
behind the clouds like a needle
through dark demin.
I don’t think of you at all
any more.
I think:
two blocks down,
the severe grandma
mends her grandson’s pants
on an old Singer: a love
chore under lamplight.
Somewhere:
a room full of people
smoking in the dark.
See how,
next door, two lovers embrace
another silent dinner.
In my house?
In the city
I will never see–
I imagine–
night wills itself
in the way night does
where I am:
sky is smudge.
The stars: little threads.
sky is smudge.
The stars: little threads.
33 thoughts on "The stars: little threads"
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Your best write so far,
in my opinion. Shaun…
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.
I was gonna say the same thing.
This is really good.
Great shape : clouded at the top and love the stanza demarcation. The echo of the title really works well great write !
Thank you so much, Coleman. I wrestled with this one and am glad it came together.
now i wish every poem was about ‘smudgey sky’ and threadtails of starlight
🙂
Thank you so much, Dustin!
Wow Shaun
each one a masterpiece
this one pulls
at heart, gut, everything
Thank so much, Jim!
Layers of stories. It felt like I was taking a walk around the block. Love the title that weaves into “like a needle through dark denim,” and the sewing reference of a grandmother mending.
Thank you so much, Virginia! I appreciate that feedback and am glad it came across.
Loved the vignettes and sky is smudge, the stars little threads!
Thank you, Linda!
The internal story of the needle through denim and the grandmother anchor what is possibly/probably a lament reminding me of lost love, but with a look-back that is peaceful.
Thank you, Gregory! Love and loss are two sides of the coin sometimes!
I adore the personfication of night and the wistful tone. There’s also a mystery to this with just the few details given. Nicely done!
Thank you, Maira!
Very nice – the enjambment is so good!
two lovers embrace/
another silent dinner
Thanks, Nancy! I appreciate it–kept wanting to twist it!
I’ve read this three times now. Picked up different pieces as I went. Your descriptive word choices and combinations are absolutely incredible, beautiful, utterly unique and creative; stars and sky… smudged. I can visualize exactly what you mean. Ah!
And I’m a sucker for an ending/closing that in some form echos the beginning.
Awesome!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Mary!
sky is smudge.
The stars: little threads.
My fav lines in this lovely poem. Descriptive and creative.
Thank you so much, Melva Sue!
You’ve captured a mysterious mood here
Thank you, Pat!
Awesome! I enjoyed winding myself down, deeper into this–from room to room, then back to the start. The “I don’t think of you at all / any more” all tangled into what you do think about. And, wow –“sky is smudge. / The stars: little threads.” !! (Yes, you had to repeat it!)
Thank you, Michele!!
That first stanza is so imagistic, a wonderfully-rendered word painting.
Thank you, Tom!
I agree with Jim Lally: “each one a masterpiece
this one pulls
at heart, gut, everything.”
The genius line break in the stanza:
“See how,
next door, two lovers embrace
another silent dinner.”
…followed by the one lonely line/stanza:
“In my house?”
Haunting and heartbreakingly lovely.
Thank you so much, Karen!
Simply adore:
sky is smudge.
The stars: little threads, hinting
behind the clouds like a needle
through dark demin.
Thank you, Pam!
I especially like beginning with “you” and ending with “I” — the two joined together in the city they will never see. Brilliant poem.