Day to night, Night to day
Magic in the sky
The sun and moon
At the same time
One rising one falling
Brightness behind me
Darkness still ahead of me
The world to turn
On its axis
To flip my perspective
3 thoughts on "Day to night, Night to day"
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What a unique ending. I felt turnt upside down after reading.
I really like this and the truth that our perspective changes between day and night.
Just a couple of thoughts for you to play with: what if you started with — Sun and moon together? What do you think?
Do you need “on its acces?” What happens if you drop the “ing” verbs, e.g. “one rises; one falls.” I used ; but you could use / or & or the word “and.” Play with it. See what works for you.
This is a “thing” with me, but my students found it helpful — is every word “paying the rent” to live in your poem. Do some need to be “evicted?” Do some need to change (like rising > rises, falling > falls.
Just some ideas to play with. This is a cool poem. What can you do to make it stronger?
How did auto correct make AXIS into access. 🫤