Step nine
In the morning haze
the guilt looms over me
“Except when to do so would cause further harm”
Contemplating these words
Long after sleep should have come
what was done, a list
-lying in order to control perception of others
-over reliance on others to regulate emotions
-obsessive behavior
-attempts to hold onto relationships after it was made clear not to
it’s been almost half a decade
would contact cause more harm
have these transgressions washed away
Saw you at a bar
Know you saw me
wanted to say something
but fear overtook me
4 thoughts on "Step nine"
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Beautiful. So heartfelt! Riveting, too, and at end, “but fear overtook me,” I felt a deep pang of sadness.
Triumphant work. The layers and the resentments are real.
Love how you pull it together with the morning haze and the guilt that looms.
Perfect questions near the end.
And oh, those last four lines.
For me what I can’t forgive is myself for not letting him try when it was clear that he wanted to and/or
not speaking first to say that I had already forgiven everything without him having to do anything special. Amends can go both ways.
I appreciate the advice means a lot