I’d gone out for a breath of air, and had no call to be there, when I saw a friend, idling on the walk,

So, I sidled up to him and I uttered, “Hey there, Jim. I think we really need to have a talk.”

His eyes got a hunted look, as his head affirmed and shook, “We sure do, let’s step inside, kind sir!”

My hopes were now aroused as into the public house, we entered, as did our thirsts.

Before I wander too far about, I should perhaps here point out, that Jim owed me money which I’d loaned,

And I’d been trying for a while to re-collect my pile, I had visited, written and I had phoned.

He seemed a master of the dodge, I had been to where he lodged, and his landlady always said he was away,

“But he’s such a conscientious lad, any doubt you might have had, I can vouch, he’ll be back just any day.”

I thought perhaps I knew the cur, a wee bit better, you know, than her, as I had known the chap since we were back in school,

Even then he was always busted, and anything to him entrusted was disappeared…by golly, I was a fool!

Oh well, but I digress, though I’ll pause to confess, the thirst was on me and I sure did want a drink,

So, I waved the barmaid over and I counted out the stover when she returned with two glasses, quick as a wink.

This barmaid, the buxom dove, with whom half the patrons were in love, she surely was an artist in her craft.

Efficient, and generous to a fault, though her affections could not be bought, she could leave her suitors feeling oh so daft.

The other half the bar, they were in lust, though their desires, they were a bust, her love was squandered on a clerk across town.

Now wait, where was I going? My conundrum I was showing and it’s time I swing this story back around.

We both raised our pints to toast, than began to josh and boast, oh, how the stories flew, I’m telling you!

But as I neared the bottom of my glass, I smiled at Jim to ask, “Say old friend, I guess

you know what’s due?”

He smiled at me and beamed. He did recall it seemed, but then he lifted up his hand and said “Two more!”

Before I could restate my case, appeared  the barmaid’s smiling face; she had two lovely foaming pints there to be sure.

She sat them down and turned away as Jim cried, “My god! Look that a way!” And as I turned I heard my glass shatter on the floor.

I don’t know how he moved so quick, or did his disappearing trick, but when I turned back, he was out the door.

And a busboy with a towel, stooped and blocked my way now, it seemed to all have happened in a flash.

With my pants all flecked with foam, I was wishing I was home, and wondering if I’d ever see my cash.

In Jim’s hasty retreat, it seems I’d again been beat, I still owed the pub our last 

pints of stout.

I paid up and I tipped, and my replacement pint I sipped, as I relaxed into my seat and all my doubt.