the last time i talked to you 
was right before the election 
and you couldn’t say a bad word 
about him 

i should’ve known better 
than to try to reconnect 
i just wanted a relationship 
with my father 
and i know life 
is so fragile 

we used to be 
a family 
of four 
but now nick’s dead
mom’s carrying bus tubs 
at 2 AM 
but with someone who treats her well
i’m struggling to eat in new york 
and you’re with your other family 
or your new one 

you act like the phone only works 
one way 
because you know 
deep down 
i hate your guts 

in high school 
i’d watch noam chomsky interviews 
over the sound of fox news 
radiating through the air 
like a bomb 

i’d dream of disproving 
all your views with my 
perfectly worded responses 
i thought if only you could see 
it as i do 
you would understand 
where i’m coming from 

i should’ve learned then 
you didn’t have any interest
in seeing 
another side 

your gambling addiction 
isn’t all that different 
than your son’s addiction was 
but you didn’t let that keep you 
from holding it against him 

he was bi and you used to argue 
that gay marriage was a slippery slope 
because then people would try to marry 
animals

the last time i talked to you 
it had been a year since i had bet 
and you still made it about your lost 
bets from the day 

i told you 
you taught me 
how to lose money 
how not to treat a woman 
and how not to raise a family 
you said “yeah patrick 
that’s mature” 

i got tired of concealing 
the truth to protect 
your feelings
when you didn’t care about protecting 
anyone else’s 

i never heard you tell mom happy mother’s day 
because you said she wasn’t your mom 
so i can’t wish you happy father’s day
and ignore it all 
just so we can talk about sports
for a few minutes 
and you can make me feel bad
about where i’m at in life 

the other day i heard that the way 
you deal with a narcissist 
is to make them 

insignificant

so i’ll treat this as any other day 
i’ll think of you 

and say nothing at all