“You are so angry.”
Yes, I am. But,
it is more than the secrets kept
for lifetimes. It is more 
than the rejection in your eyes
as I celebrate in June. It is more
than the years of waiting
for the day I can come home
and not jump at every footstep,
every door slamming, every voice
heard over the blarring music
in my headphones. It is all of these,
and it is that sometimes, I can be at peace,
and feel myself leave my body,
just like I did when those lips
were on mine. My hands shake,
and I am nowhere. Yet, I am stuck
in my body and I am watching it happen
again and again and there’s nothing I can say
because I said yes the first time.
And I can’t tell you, because it was a sin
even when I wanted to.