there’s this urgency 

this spark in the tips 

of my fingers

something driving them 

faster faster 

but the words aren’t coming

they are haunting me 

laughing at me in their 

ghostly form 

telling me i’ll never catch up 

this is one game i’ll never win 

but there’s this burning 

this yearning desire 

to do nothing but 

put pen to paper

fingers to keyboard

something that can’t be 

satiated 

so i wait 

looking at empty lines

ink dripping onto to the paper

that’s supposed to be my gateway 

into freedom 

into something more 

i watch the cursor blink 

blink blink 

there is nothing in my head

where images should be dancing 

did i do too much 

too fast

am i washed out once again 

the words haunt me 

with being just out of reach 

my voice can’t even 

sound out the alphabet

hands can’t even write my own name 

what am i if i can’t even jot down a thought 

who am i if i can’t even write 

i am who i have been 

& i am unhappy being that person 

now that i have tasted the other side

once again 

i am not willing to give 

it up for another day 

not willing to stop & listen to those 

saying that i’m not good 

enough 

i have things to say 

& an alphabet to say them with 

the words haunt me

but i persist