i blink slowly
letting the tears soak
into my eyelashes
holding myself 
the way you used to hold me
or at least my best attempt
at recreating it

it seems so unfair
leaving everything behind again
after attempting to love it all
so well

triple grief
doubling over
folding into a tightly packed
rectangle of regret

i wish i would have done 
every bad thing differently
i wish i could sleep
thinking 
it will all be okay in the morning

i grip the sheets tighter
i let out my breath
turn my head to my pillow
swallow salt water
tears drip down my chin and chest