On Being the Eldest Daughter
My mother is dying
somewhere in the middle
of nowhere Eastern Kentucky.
I am driving home
from a city hours away to say goodbye.
The decision—
life or death rests in my childlike hands.
Her baby blues, her newborn scalp.
I do not want to play God.
A pigeon flies into traffic,
nose-dive to pavement, tail towards the sky.
Wings flap and plead in the middle lane
aching for air, for undoing.
Its small road-burned face finding
the shoulder of the road to cry on.
The unexpected safety of that bluegrass.
Not the mercy I prayed for,
but the mercy that came.
I do not know who I become
when there is no one left to care for.
10 thoughts on "On Being the Eldest Daughter"
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Beautifully written!
Thank you!
Powerful and heartbreaking.
the first line pulls me in to the poem:
My mother is dying
somewhere in the middle
of nowhere Eastern Kentucky.
the last two shows that bewildering time of lost of place when a mother dies.
I do not know who I become
when there is no one left to care for.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts Pam!
This poem is so beautifully sad.
Yes, I think so too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Jazmine, that is such a hard lesson of life to have to experience at a young age. I did the same with my father. I admire your courage to write about this sad time in your life. It took me almost 40 years to write about my father’s passing.
I agree. Writing is my coping skill for dealing with these things. Otherwise, I think it would have taken me much longer.
Wonderful piece, thank you for sharing it 💛
Thank you for reading, Leah!