my therapist says 

i need to seek validation within myself 

how do i tell her 

that if it were up to me 

i’d take a nosedive off the closest cliff

that i would cut so deep i’d see stars 

until there was never anything to see again 

that if it were my decision

i’d be dead 

validation isn’t something i have in me 

towards myself 

it falls among compassion and understanding

things i have an abundance of 

for others, but none for 

myself 

so i ask out 

in the universe 

to grant me validation 

so i can live another day 

write another word

take another breath

this shit is too heavy 

to do on my own 

help lift some burden off my shoulders? 

tell me i’m worth it 

tell me i have things worth saying 

tell me i am okay