profusion of decorations
rooms cluttered
             paintings,
                  photos,
                     statuary
closed-in dark oppressive interiors

new places have cautious effect
on me
I take-in and process
          all details in setting
                   internally

I react quickly
                     yet process information
                     deeply
                             slowly

if too much sensory input
           for me to process
                           I freeze from overstimulation

                  I am aware
                    of being
                 outside the
                    given
                 situation

            overstimulation
dreadful experience for an introvert

                    I withdraw
into myself
feeling
         frozen
                 in place

physically
     I am present but not
tuned into my
                surroundings

                           vision blurs

tension spreads
          throughout my
body, especially
   neck and
shoulders

                        knotted stomach

                        rapid breathing

cold to touch
    I become emotionally
                  numb
just want to be
                  home

such experience can
                happen
even in midst of family and friends

I attended social gathering
      family friend’s house

Upon arrival
        I walked into multitude of modern artwork
                  drawings
                      paintings
                          statues
        on walls    in the corners of the room    even the dining table
and instantly
came to a standstill

                                    assaulted
more sensory detail than I 
                                   could handle
physical effects of
      over…………stimulation
                                               hit me

felt like I was there but
               not there

like proverbial square peg attempting
    to fit round hole
    I was outside of space
       occupied by others
                around me

I was overcome……by sense of
                                             shrinking

my inner voice assailed me:
                              PULL IT TOGETHER THIS INSTANT
                   ACKNOWLEDGE WHATEVER IS BOTHERING ME
                                                    LET IT GO
                                              THEN MOVE ON
despite my best efforts to appear otherwise
                    others saw my distress
they asked me in worried tones
                                 “Do you feel okay? Is there anything wrong?”
I found every thought
              every action
                         an effort
difficult to concentrate
negative self-talk
                                             I convinced myself
                               ruining the moment for everyone
told myself I’m a bad person
                               just not normal
such behavior irrational
perceived I’m always
                      on outside looking in

narrowed my field of
                                    sight

reduced
           onslaught of
             visual input
mindful breathing: decreased
              my stress level
brought temporary reprieve until
      I found refuge in
               spacious
               well-aired
               well-lit surroundings with
             minimal sensory stimulation
in solitude I recharge      breathe freely      just be
                                    in the moment
these actions allow me to inhabit
         the space I occupy and
                      be outside
                              no
                          longer