Mere months til the midline milestone
with a child poised to launch
the rapids of cancer
& divorce behind me now
I am looking around
waiting for an entrance by 
whoever is supposed to take over
when my shift ends
someone
older
wiser
much more organized

a grownup who can navigate 
trusts & annuities
sump pumps
garage remote pairing

an experienced cultivator who has
raised things from seed
staked vines
witnessed trees in all their seasons

then I remember with both great relief
& disappointment that I am the sole
department head
major purchaser
trainer 
coach
general manager
owner
skilled labor 
& personality hire

I loosen my necktie
slip off my heels 
barrel roll to the other side of the bed
click the secret latch on the side table
the top slides open & a hidden bar cart
rises up from within
filled with bottles of not liquor but
collagen supplements
& magnesium oil 
half used glass jars of 
hyaluronic acid wrinkle serum
& retinol hand cream

reading glasses & a c-pap mask 
drop suddenly from a hidden slot in the ceiling
there is a sudden change in pressure
I hug my ergonomic pillow
which may be used as a floatation device
in the event this whole thing 
plummets into the sea