Discomfort
The air is heavy and stale
in the bingo hall before
the patrons get here.
My sunburn is shedding skin
like a lizard. I scratch at it,
willing it to hurry.
The air conditioning doing its best
but even the blowing fans realize
this is a losing battle.
The money counter shuffles
its payout over and over,
shredding the silence.
Sweat pools at the back of my neck
then stretches a long trickle
the length of my spine.
We open the doors to customers
and the real fun begins.
One thought on "Discomfort"
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Wonderful! You’ve really captured the moment.
If this were my poem, I’d change “doing its best” to “does its best” for the stronger verb, and I’d cut the last stanza, which is the only abstract part of the poem and the only place where’s a cliche (the last line in particular).