Ghouls
ah,
cool creek
spring melt flow
exposed, submerged
body shivers, lips chatter, don’t matter
that the vouyer(s?) spy, pry, and wonder why
I don’t look up
or see them
staring
hushed
20 thoughts on "Ghouls"
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Love the shape and the way it is like a scaffolding for the concept.
And really like how the second vulnerability mirrors the first.
Thanks, Coleman! It’s a tetractys form. It does lend itself nicely to mirroring.
So much tension!
Indeed! I wrote part of this as a stem from a prompt that I was given months ago in a writing group. The goal is to take one line or idea and apply it to several forms. The tetractys works for this. Glad you felt the tension in this one.
Spy, pry, and wonder why…love it!
Thank you, Chelsie!
like a Rorschach test
that mirrors the desires
of vouyers (the ghouls!)
Thanks, Jim. I love the comparison to a Rorschach test! How cool!
Striking poem: economical, packed with sound and meaning. The second stanza especially strong.
Thanks, Kevin! Glad you enjoyed this one.
love this skinny dipping poem. if the hushed voyeurs are real, do they have to appear so ghoulish?
Thanks, Gaby! I left the idea of the voyeurs a little ambiguous, because there is always a fear that someone or something is watching. The poem was originally written in third person. Switching to first person made it feel more…creepy.
In the word of Shaun: Shew!
Especially: (s?)
Thank you, Pam! Yeah, the idea of more than one set of eyes…yikes!
This form and your words have a flavor of Dr. Seuss. I can hear it being read out loud. Only the title gives it a bit of a shiver. Great bit of tension there.
Thanks for reading, Sylvia! Yes, the shiver at the end holds added tensuon fir sure!
Tetractys form used to great mirroring effect. Strong concrete imagery and rhythm: “body shivers, lips chatter, don’t matter.” Well done
Thank you, l.!
I love the concise economy and sounds of this poem
Thanks, Shaun! Glad you enjoyed this one.