35.7 becomes 39.2 

shifting closer to that 
50/50 mark, flip a coin 
heads-you-get-it, tails-you-don’t –
you don’t 
have the spoons to be social, 
drawer-full of sporks and knives
you watch 
life alternating out the window, 
flipping from greening to freezing 
& back again, and you do 
know 
that it’s always more complex than that 
that there’s shades and stages between 
no one has mentioned ‘epigenome’ – tho 
your genetic report came back clean 
the crows 
are vocal in an unusual way, and again 
you think understanding their language 
would be nice 
you stay to listen 
to their calls, you stay 
on the couch with the purring cats, you 
stay 
for a million different tiny things 
while sleep sings a siren-song, while 
long shadows slip across the lawn 
while everything is just so heavy 
you shrug & soldier on.