Martin Mutant claimed the park as his office
and his business was in alternate dimensions.
Wish your life had gone differently?
Wish you’d been born in a different place?
Wish you’d been born in a different time?
Stop hopin’ just call Martin!
Yank one you out of earth-2
and stick you right in your/their place.
Earth-2 you wants to go back home?
Martin will work out a suitable replacement
for that you too!
And if you find yourself unsatisfied with that could have been
Martin’s got plenty of them.
(so long as your the one paying)
Going back will cost you double.
(a lot of work went into doing this for you)
Here’s the handbook, don’t screw up!
(read the fine print, you pay your own temporal legal fees)
Martin Mutant doesn’t spend time pondering alternate timelines
because Martin Mutant is riding high and completely satisfied.