Unassisted Rant #1
You are not my co-pilot.
Neither are you my navigator,
my mission control, nor my ground crew
preparing me for take-off, nor are you
my flight attendant anticipating
my every need, and please do not go
anywhere near baggage claim.
I can handle it myself.
You are not my co-pilot.
You are, however, the passenger who
never stops talking, the whiny child who
just won’t settle down, the snorer who
snorts in seat 22B, and the seatmate who
insists on reading my palm. You are
the barf bag, the plastic-coated safety directions
no one wants to read. You are
nothing but a pest, pretending
to know what’s good for me.
4 thoughts on "Unassisted Rant #1"
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Hilarious, Mary! Who hasn’t encountered someone like this on a plane. “You are/the barf bag” – absolutely priceless!
Thanks, Sylvia! I was trying to allude to Microsoft Word’s AI “assistant” which is called Copilot. Yes, we all know annoying passengers but usually I’m pretty chill with them. Not so much with AI being thrust upon me unwillingly. Obviously, my allusion was too subtle. (Nevertheless, my rant was satisfying to me!)
I love the way you lay it all out there—and I love the lists so much. You had me smiling and reading is again!
Thanks, Ann!