The boys and Zelda are coming
her text states, we’re starving
holding Thanksgiving dinner
until everyone arrives.

Her text states, we’re starving
meanwhile the bird is drying out,
until everyone arrives
no one eats.

The bird is drying out
the sniping has begun
no one eats
miniature pickles to tide us over.

The sniping has begun
rheumy Aunt Flora moans
Miniature pickles to tide us over!
I wish I’d just stayed home.

Rheumy Aunt Flora moans,
Zelda and the boys are never coming,
I wish I’d just stayed home.
Oh, to hell with Thanksgiving dinner.