It’s strange to feel sad all the time
despite my lust for life
my hunger for laughter 
beautiful sunsets 
genuine smiles 
I still sink into the shadows 
a dark and comfortable place
there is no joy in it
but there is an acceptance 
melancholy consumes me 
aching deep within my tired body
I’m quiet 
the bed is soft
I welcome this feeling 
I blink slowly 
My eyes heavy with the threat of sleep and side effects from anti depressants 
I’ve always been this way
a sad part of my soul
chipped away 
not Broken or cracked
But different 
Despite the darkness closing in
I find myself smiling 
I’m numb again