The Fall (Sigmund Freud)
Now in his dreams, the serpent, Sigmund Freud, was more crafty and more sexually potent than any of the other beasts of the field that the Lord God had made.
He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman stretched out on her couch and said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, “You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. You are merely crushed by interdictions, and you need to be set free from the judgments of others.” So the woman said “What others?” To which the serpent said “God and the angels, you hysterical dummy.”
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to free one of guilt, seeing it as subjective, seeing that she could weaken the guilt by analyzing it, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that God wanted to keep them under His power and influence, not to mention keeping them naked due to some weird fixation on his God Mother. And they sewed fig leaves together, made themselves loincloths, and the man did smoke the world’s first cigar, which frightened the woman, much the way the serpent had.
