Today’s your borne day
would’ve been 85
almost dead longer than alive
you missed it all momma

my two beautiful babies
he’s handsome like granddaddy
her face shaped like yours
she’s petite like you & granny
and has her perfect nose

Gave them a life I wanted for myself
Happily married parents
The education of the 1%
He takes the bar this winter
She’s a software engineer

You were right about my 1st husband
He was an alcoholic and more
I found me another good man.
He’s a great dad & husband 
We love each other so much

i made the life you wanted for yourself
and Dawn did too, big house and a good man 
She passed the bar became a stay at home mom
Kept my good job and got the position I wanted
You would be happy with what you made

i took care of Granny after her stroke
her ending was so tragic momma
the hospital kept taking her limbs
She died of congestive heart failure
i was the filial daughter

So sorry i gave you a hard time
the few years we lived in the same city
I was the hand that rocked my babies cradle
It was a journey to become their mother 
But in the end they are my life’s best work

Bright orange trumpets line Grandmother Nettie’s driveway
For as far as I can see a sea of orange waves beckons me
Their greeting is friendly and welcoming
I can’t wait to see my grandmother
A prelude to what’s to come
Her loving smile
Open arms
Warm hug
Loving
Kiss

A lousy mystic
Who thinks that seeking
To feel God’s presence
Is a bit too much
About me,
A bit egotistic. 

Who thinks he should just
Go about the business of
Doing justice,
Loving mercy,
And walking humbly with his God. 

And if one day he is
Spontaneously overwhelmed
With a sense of God’s presence,
That would be great,
That would be lagniappe.

Stephen King wrote
my
husband
a
note. 

It said
“Stay
dark
my
friend. 
maybe
i’ll
see you 
in Bangor. “

Then it 
rained 
for 
days. 

And my 
whole 
body
ached. 

(for my sister, Missy Cecil
— who’s more than a birder)

eyes clear sleep
                  blinking
in down gown

window dove
                  singing
heart wonder

cecil missle-thistle
                   seeking
perch chrip

darwin on the sill
                   trilling
birdie birdie birdie

She doesn’t need you

Wandering through the aisles at Kroger
Looking for garbanzos
I see a woman holding a can of baked beans
Grey hair, gnarled fingers, laugh lines
Wearing lime green capri pants and white crocs
She turns to me and says
It’s the only thing he remembered in the end
Just this, not my name or who I was, just these beans
I nod and say wow, that’s hard
You have no idea she says
Putting the beans back on the shelf
We wander on

My father. His brother.

My mother who pretended

nothing bad was happening.

The boys who beat me

because I couldn’t pretend

they had anything I needed.

The girls who shamed me

for not being straight,

or hated me for my courage.

When you know how monsters

and demons truly look and feel,

the last day of October is a treat.

[after an unattributed, circa 1930 photograph of Halloween costumes, seen at

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shame_(Brad_album) ]

It is so easy to let life get you down
There are the little inconviences
of cars breaking down, other irritating things
that totally throw you off

Then there are the huge things
your children in bad situations
of their own choosing, but dire
deaths of loved ones
job loss and huge expenses at
the same time
being in pain yourself,
or loved ones being in pain,
people just being plain mean,
life is sometimes just too much

But the optimist in me, ALWAYS
looks for the bright side
the kindness that occurs just when
you most need it
the sun shining bright in the sky
beautiful blue sky and birds singing
flowers blooming and bees buzzing
all around them
a neighboorhood cat rubbing up
against my leg as I am leaving
to do something very unpleasant

It can be a tough world,
but it can be beatiful, too
Look for the light and goodness,
don’t focus on the darkness
it can and will consume you

You in the corner,
that neon Budweiser sign 
lighting up your face—
how’s about I buy us one
& see how far it takes us?