Never in the summer do I ever miss New York, unless you’re asking me specifically about Hell’s Kitchen kisses, watching the ‘Clones play, or the snappy, savory joys of a hot dog by the ocean. Heat bouncing down Manhattan alleys, humidity keeping us all sticky with the sunburnt frustration of eight million people who all need to be someplace. But the Q train was air conditioned, and usually clean, and Coney Island always meant a smile.

                Ich schreibe deutsch

The world was supposed 
to end 

in 2012

That’s the year i lost you 
so Nostradamus was right

in a sense 

Dreams do come true,
And if you don’t believe me,
Just wait, you’ll see.

One night I was listening to Ke$ha’s TikTok

i wait on the chicken scampi complete with garlic parmesan rice wondering first where does the word scampi come from second i wonder isn’t it cause it’s garlicky and parmesany in the first place and third why is there no shrimp involved in this meal that clearly should be when we all expect it tho that’s okay cause at this point in the evening the whole family’s just hungry and i have no more time after work to cook well isn’t that the way of the world running on and on and on and on never remembering to breathe or eat or catch up with the neighbors on the porch so no matter as we can eat and move ourselves toward bed to get up and run on and run on and on and on and on on on again and again over and over until we arrive back at chicken scampi one night wondering why we’re here doing the same thing until we realize there’s a point to it all and that’s just the fact we’re hungry for more

“Be still”
God’s simple and impossible words from The Book of my life,
etched on the pages of my heart.
Imbedded in my cells in your inked handwriting.
A commandment to calm a Kaleidoscope mind,
And ease a restless soul.
Seven letters of completion. 
Forever a reminder that
Chaos is not my master.

summer slide
term for learning loss
here I am trying to prevent this
via my work

though summer slide
is, in a completely different way, how I’d describe, what I’m experiencing
I was, careening along, doing alright
until this, this challenge erupted
seemingly out of nowhere although I knew
oh, I knew it was possible but I tried to believe
all is well, and will be
and it is, and will be
yet I’m sliding, sliding down this slippery slope
not able to stop myself
counting days now until I will hit the bottom
when I’ll be forced to
stand, figure out how to navigate the valley
begin what I was never before able to actually
begin

currently though, I slide

I grew up on porches,
sitting with the matriarchs
and patriarchs of my family tree.
They taught me life’s secrets
as the wind blew through the leaves
adding a sense of mystery
to their aged wisdom.

My Nana and Papa Jim
taught me patience
as we shucked corn
and canned green beans
on their front porch.
Something so simple
done with so much care
made for meals
where the love could be savored
in each careful bite.

My Granny
taught me appreciation
for the little things,
like coffee with two creams
and the smell of menthol cigarettes
during endless conversations
had as we sat in iron chairs
me soaking in the memories
for when she isn’t there.

My Mom
taught me acceptance
and how sometimes
life is unfair
because even as she sat
on her rocking chair
devoutly saying the Serenity Prayer
she got sicker, never got better,
and when she died
I cried on the front porch
saying the same prayer
trying to accept
this horrible thing I could not change.

Myself is still learning
but they have taught me
resilience, and I know because
as I sit on my own porch now
in my cushioned papasan chair
and reflect on my past
and all the tragedies that have passed,
I acknowledge that I have survived
that I have overcomed and thrived,
and while I have much life left to go
I know I’ll be okay because
I grew up on porches
and I learned many lessons
that have brought me here today
and I have my own porch now
where I’ll continue to grow
and hope others will reap
the lessons I sow.

I slip into the depths
of your embrace, and let you
consume me. You light
a fire in my stomach 
that trickles down 
to my fingertips that lay
tapping rhythms on my thighs. 
I sip, until I’m lightheaded
and buzzing, and every part of me
feels loose and lax. I close 
my eyes and exhale 
through my nose. I melt
until I can solidify
and become real again.