Mute Your Future Phones: A Radio Segment
This is Sneaker from the Sneaker and Beeker Morning Show. The date is June 16th, 2044 and the weather is snow. We’re back with another installment of “Court Cases Gone Wild” and, Beeker, it’s a doozy. Today we’re discussing the rise of legal lying in 2028’s Flowers vs Floozy.
Yep, Sneaker, they say the court room was deadly quiet on a busy day when suddenly, a jingle rang out from an abandoned Pixel 10A. Let’s hear that old rendition:
Are you suffering from the lying condition?
We’re back with a new honesty edition.
Teeth with letters you can’t spit out
A board game masquerading as a mouth
Suck the enamel’s deep grooves
Flip them until the board skews
Nine out of ten dentists agree
Nothing said comes for free
So when you’re guilty and in doubt
Open wide and Smile Shout ™️
The star witness had mentioned that Floozy was shady, and it turned out the phone was registered to his old lady. She later said that the defendant was cheap and lacked style, so he had reached the end of the 30-day free trial. When he opened up his mouth to lie that day, the ad music volume was up all the way. The bailiffs asked Ms. Floozy to leave but the damage was done. The defendant had turned a dark shade of plum. The jury discussed for over thirty-six hours whether the blame was Floozy or Flowers. It was already a trial of men with clout and the first time anyone publicly used Smile Shout ™️.
The video reached a million views before the end of the week. Smile Shout ™️ capitalized on the public intrigue. They created a way to make lying in style, and now we’ll be feeling the effects for a while. Floozy was convicted but still reached fame, and it was almost surprising how many voted his name.
Sneaker, he was truly a monster. We’ll be taking calls to discuss after a word from our sponsors!
