1.
out of uncountable
gallons of earth
gallons of earth
white petals pushed-
the way the lake
is just a puddle now
peeling painted shadows
should seem sorrier
but she beat me to it-
said i showed her how
12 thoughts on "1."
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*working title: with the pry of a shovel
I love that title.
And with that title I say.
Yes!
a WIP–what i’m considering the ‘daisey suite’ so i’ll reserve final order/titles till all the moving parts feel more done.. 🙂
something about ‘shovel’ feels too violent for ‘act 1’
I like this one!
Wow this is good
(It actually even has a rhyme)
it’ painterly
This peels off like paint. It’s actually quite beautiful!
This might be one of my favorites of your poems I’ve read this month. It sings. “white petals pushed-/the way the lake/is just a puddle now” is a wow!
Excellent!
I love “peeling painted shadows/should seem sorrier!
Will anticipate what’s next for this…
Intriguing.
Love this first stanza–heavy, with then petals coming forth. Last line, a nice twist.
Love how you landed this poem:
peeling painted shadows
should seem sorrier
but she beat me to it-
said i showed her how