The sun shone bright and the air was crisp 

Coffee in hand I bounced down the hall
Morning greetings and holiday cheer filled the air
Almost time for for winter break
 
Gingerbread houses and classroom parties
the children giggled with excitement 
slightly distracted by the seasonal chaos
 
We started our day in the usual away 
but quickly 
my world forever changed
11 minutes  that’s all it took 
to take their lives 
20 innocent children and 
6 of my dear colleagues and cherished friends
 
and even all these years later
the memories are surreal
not faded and gray like others
because they are stuck in the brain
rewired they say
 
It’s hard for people sometimes to sit with my pain
and it’s tiring to try and explain
crowded rooms, loud noise, there’s a siren , hit the floor
glass breaking, backfiring car makes me want to run away 
far
 
That changes nothing this I know 
so I continue to move forward
some days fast other days slow
but never returning to the me before
 
I left her behind when I walked out that school door
heartbroken and shattered on the floor. 
I am lucky they say and maybe so 
 
The scars are deep and the wounds remain
never forgetting a single name
doing my best to honor this chance 
to live a grateful life 
and make a difference
slb
 
 
12/14/12  my SHS family always in my heart 

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