11 Minutes
The sun shone bright and the air was crisp
Coffee in hand I bounced down the hall
Morning greetings and holiday cheer filled the air
Almost time for for winter break
Gingerbread houses and classroom parties
the children giggled with excitement
slightly distracted by the seasonal chaos
We started our day in the usual away
but quickly
my world forever changed
11 minutes that’s all it took
to take their lives
20 innocent children and
6 of my dear colleagues and cherished friends
and even all these years later
the memories are surreal
not faded and gray like others
because they are stuck in the brain
rewired they say
It’s hard for people sometimes to sit with my pain
and it’s tiring to try and explain
crowded rooms, loud noise, there’s a siren , hit the floor
glass breaking, backfiring car makes me want to run away
far
That changes nothing this I know
so I continue to move forward
some days fast other days slow
but never returning to the me before
I left her behind when I walked out that school door
heartbroken and shattered on the floor.
I am lucky they say and maybe so
The scars are deep and the wounds remain
never forgetting a single name
doing my best to honor this chance
to live a grateful life
and make a difference
slb
12/14/12 my SHS family always in my heart
8 thoughts on "11 Minutes"
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Can’t imagine the horror of that day, and I think this poem does a fine job of getting the challenges of being a survivor in the aftermath across. “never returning to the me before / I left her behind when I walked out that school door.” Can’t see how it would be otherwise. Peace be with you.
Thank you , much appreciated
Sending you so much love. I was flying home from Kentucky to Connecticut the day this happened and when I got off the plane for my first layover all the TVs in the airport were switched to the news. That winter break was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and I was all the way in New London County. Distant connections to people there but even a slight connection hits so hard. Im so sorry you went through this. gorgeous tribute.
Than you ! I appreciate your comments and how true even a distant connerctions changes lives.
I was uncertain what I would see behind the content warning and hard as it was to read, I am glad I opened it and glad for your courage to write it. Blessings to you.
“Some days fast other days slow/but never returning to the me before”
“I left her behind when I walked out that school door”
Thank you, it is a blessing to be here and connect with people who like poetry for what ever reason. for me it is healing
This poem should help to lessen your PTSD…
I have found the act of writing poetry to be an life changing and healing. Healing comes in many forms and this outlet has been a blessing for me .
so yes, this helps with the PTSD.