I see the presents you dropped off imagine the thought you put into choosing what I would like the book you found for your niece & nephew the inscription you wrote inside

your effort your desire to connect with family that won’t connect with you because you’re a homeless addict & you want so much for them to accept that fact & they can’t it’s too unpredictable

& you will not let go which means it has a hold on you like a love you can’t let go of like a daughter I can’t let go of & yet I must as I drove off today after telling you to do it your way but don’t ask me for money anger in my voice & it’s not like this is the first time I’ve said that

I’ve said it before & the drug that has taken over your mind has now taken over my mind & I don’t know what your withdrawals feel like but mine feel like vomit

I am now going to light candles take my bath & go to bed knowing you are resourceful & will figure out where to sleep tonight even though it is so cold.