A British Tourist Writes Home
(The font I typed this in wouldn’t paste in. I have it in a font
that emulates and old typewriter. 8-D )
In America, things are not as they seem
Spare tires don’t have to hold air
Insanely popular and endearing Teddy Bears have hollow metal innards
Binoculars no longer bring distance closer…and they slosh
Methyl alcohol replaces the old store-bought whiskey
Don’t buy moonshine run through an auto radiator
Be sure a copper worm was used
“Speakeasies” require secret passwords – easy?
Medical necessity creates loopholes
Boots aren’t big enough to carry bottles of booze — especially with legs in them
Crime wave makes fortunes; suppliers gain notoriety
Some become notorious
A “blind pig” doesn’t snort, though you can buy a snort from a “blind pig”
16 thoughts on "A British Tourist Writes Home"
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That last line! Love it. With luck, I’ll be in the U.K. this summer. Now I wonder what I will say if I write home.
Thank you, Lee, and have a great visit in the U.K.!
Binoculars no longer bring distance closer…and they slosh
We maybe able to focus better but the chasm grows wider.
Crime wave makes fortunes; suppliers gain notoriety
Some become notorious
This is the statement that rings truest to me – although I am not a British Tourist.
Thank you!
Visual layout emphasizes the tourist’s individual comments.
Verbal gives voice to those comments noting absurd and unfounded elements in America. Poem’s structure pulls me along.
Thank you!
“Boots aren’t big enough to carry bottles of booze — especially with legs in them.”
(too funny!)
Glad you liked it! I’m having a blast researching Lexington during Prohibition.
E.E.
Seems I’m ever thinking about being over THERE somewhere where ever there is . . .
and not right where I am
This poem gives me a “witness” perspective and also a reality check-in on how we’ve complicated not smoothed or improved our American ride . . .
thank you for this witnessing
and living reminder! blunt and humorous for sure!
Thank you! Our Prohibition era definitely confused the Brits. LoL
Don’t buy moonshine run through an auto radiator
Be sure a copper worm was used
the truth is not as well-known as it should be. Lead poison sickened many and killed others. My father made copper worms and stills for any shine maker who would furnish the copper.
Absolutely!
Congratulations on another addition to your ongoing sequence. This time, from a unique perspective!
Thanks so much, Greg! I’ve got a fun one about a Treasury Agent. I think I’ll post it tomorrow. 😉
Some real jewels here:
Spare tires don’t hold air
I especially loved
“Speakeasies” require secret passwords – easy. It reminded me of Gandalf discovering the password to open the dwarves’ mine in Lord of the Rings.
Thank you so much, Rosemarie!