I keep
my mind
on a tight leash
no slack
having learned
nothing good
ever comes
from losing
control.
 
Why
make memories
if there’s not enough
sobriety
to cement them?
I want
to remember
all
of you.

I’ll get buzzed
a little tipsy
able to enjoy myself.
I just
don’t care
to be
an invalid.

Drunk people
say stupid shit
or speak stupid truth.
When hearts
gets involved
the slightest signals
get turned
into diabolical riddles.

I don’t want
to lead
you on
just how
I’d like
not
to be led on.

This isn’t to say I don’t have moments of irresponsibility                         
                       when memory is ensnared in temporary brownouts.
I was shocked to learn that you and I linked arms last week.                       
                 I have no recollection of making that joke in your all’s company.
Not too long ago, there is a night that exists as a fill-in-the-blanks.           
                     mixed with suggestive smiles and tantalizing flirtations, but
what in the whole wide world did we talk so long about?

Why do I have this feeling that we kissed.                                                        
                                                    without any recall of the press of your lips
or how our magnetic charges.                                        
                          might have gotten swapped?

Clouds are bad enough           
                  stacked in blackened skies.
I don’t need to invite
the fog
into my brain.

Life
is hard
even when
we know all the answers.
Best not add
any
uncomfortably
difficult to answer
questions.

And that is why
I make
the effort
to keep
my mind
on its tight leash.