he was formed
weak
small
and lacking

he missed a leap
in critical
social
development

he was falling
and no one
could hear
his slipping away

especially not him
because children
have not the tools
to fix themselves

he grew up feeling
like belonging
might always
elude him

he fell into wrong peoples
whose inability to love
only exacerbated
his hidden traumas

he lost all strength
and confidence
to stand
against the storm

it makes failure
and disappointment
his norm
no matter where he goes

in turn, he’s been made
conscientious
determined to serve
where others let him down

you’re super reliable
I can trust you with anything
he’s been told
and it warms him

if only all Christians
lived it like you do
another says
validating him

you’re like
the best guy that I know
and he loves to hear it
until the conversation turns…

you’re so kind
I’m afraid I’ll ruin you
she says, his heart
already breaking

you’re so gentle
I don’t want to hurt you
you say, another chance
at belonging slips away

and just like that
the things he does best
are once again his worst enemies
in moments of greatest need

it’s a paradox
he can’t shake off
that he struggles
to even talk about

but he knows
he can’t change her
and he doesn’t want
to break character

he will get back to normal
after some passage of time
he just might keep
an extra eye on the skies

still, he hopes
that she somehow hears this
if for no other reason
than to just once feel
heard