Run home to awe no matter how awful a ma she’s been. Don’t ask a musician how to get to Carnegie Hall, a lunatic how to get to an asylum, or a priest how to get laid. Call pest control on your most persistent nightmares, the ones that made you wet the bed and the one about people finding out. Hire a hitman to play on the company softball team. If you’re beside yourself, pat yourself on the back. When you feel like a wild animal, snort or kick or write poems and tack them to the door of the nearest church. If you’re alone, look for someone who needs a loan, but don’t expect or accept payback. If someone tells you to get lost, fine, but don’t let that person find you again. Break the record for the world’s largest vinyl collection and the record for the most detailed journal, and then break your own records.