all my wanting chokes me like bile
in the throat, acidic, thin black
fluid that tastes like something
just out of reach

he tells me he cannot wait
to meet the person I will become
in only a few month’s time.
she will be different

but I want to be wanted now
as I am; broken and shining
like shattered glass mirrorballs
against an empty dancefloor

because I have no dreams anymore
but to be held and recreated
in the image of someone
who loves me