American Sentence LXXV
The girl, fingers roughed from scrubbing blue corridors, sings yesteryears dew.
21 thoughts on "American Sentence LXXV"
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The girl, fingers roughed from scrubbing blue corridors, sings yesteryears dew.
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Blue corridors!
Glad you like them!
This sentence could be the opening scene for a novel or a film. Glad it’s a poem, too!
Breathtaking write!
Thanks! Will keep that in mind for a scene…working on a novel currently.
enigmatic ending, dew. iiiiinteresting choice. what’s there to want after this? Well, Pam…. seems today we might have hit people upside the head in the best possible way. Love this one so much.
Thanks, Manny. This one sings for me. And yes! to “seems today we might have hit people upside the head in the best possible way.”
Good one!
Thanks, Kevin!
Another cliffhanger!
Yep, Linda, as the train rolls onward, I winder where this girl will take me!
Stark, real, and very important.
Thanks, Lee!
I wonder if she’s singing the blues – but the idea of singing dew is so intriguing, Pam.
Ahhhh, maybe another passenger on the train will…. 🙂
Reading this poem out loud, the recurring sibilant sounds of “s” reverberate, singing through the sentence. “Singing yesteryears dew” brings to mind “The girl” giving nostalgic voice about the fleeting nature of life. Well done, Pam
🙂
So enjoying these poems, the horizontal haikus, Pam!
Yesteryears Dew sounds like a Pogues tune 🙂
“The girl, fingers roughed
from scrubbing blue corridors,
sings yesteryears dew.”
Thanks, Bud!
I wasn’t familiar with the Pogues so looked them up. Wow! Listening to them now while I write this. Thanks for the reference.
Glad you are enjoying these horizontal haikus! Working with Allen Gingsberg’s form (American Sentence, 17 syllables in sentence form) has given me more flexibility than the traditional haiku while staying true to the compression that the syllable limit demands. Helps me dig deeper for the image and feeling. And placing all the passengers on ‘the train going somewhere’ has been a wonderful container as well.
Appreciate you and everyone riding this train. Encourages me onward!
Oh, my! See what I’ve been missing by staying away–this brilliance!!
🙂
Thanks, Pam for another piece to the puzzle!