I wrote 19 letters 

and 55 poems;
typed and erased 
a thousand lines 
from a thousand 
texts I never sent;
I wrote journals,
and stories, and I spoke
your name into 
millions of versions
of the same conversation,
and still I wonder,
if the time ever comes—
what I have wanted 
so desperately,
to speak to your
silent eyes in the moonlit
darkness—will I have
anything to say?