I ate one that you had been growing
standing in your backyard 
with the sun behind thin
white clouds spent for the day
misquitoes 
fed on us while I tasted something
pulled from my worn memory

I thought about how there wasn’t 
any kind of plan for any of this
what we both were doing when we
stepped out into the world as fatherless
men pretending that we didn’t need anyone

it wasn’t until we had been chewed up
by the things we believed we loved
because we didn’t know
any different that it was wrong
to hate ourselves

most of us
spend our lives
doing most of it wrong
because we
listen to those who don’t know
the middle of the night
us
fevered
with wish and dream and hope

but following you around your garden
looking at the state of your tomatoes
tasting the lettuces as it goes to seed
checking the Budwieser slug traps
with the two women who fixed us
laughing with one another inside
I knew that we found whatever we needed
and I was happy
for the four of us