I’ve been reading a lot about forgiveness lately. 
And I suppose you’re on the list of people I need to forgive.

I once read that you can’t forgive people while they’re still hurting you.
Which is why I’ve cut some people out of my life this year.
Yet of course, you don’t budge when I try to remove you.

It’s people like you I find hardest to forgive
where your wrongness is entrenched deep in your skull
my psychologist mother taught me how to spot a Grade-A narcissist.

My religion says I should forgive you
that I have been forgiven of so many wrongs I should return the favor
and while I don’t disagree with the wrongs,
how does an imperfect mortal forgive such monumetal sins?

And so I don’t even want to pretend anymore
I want to spread horrible rumors
and watch in satisfaction as it dawns on you you’ve crossed a line I can’t ignore.

Will I though?
Of course not.
I’ll write poems about how much I hate you (keeping the you anonymous)
and I’ll keep reading about forgiveness
trying desperately to erase what you make me feel.